Monday, June 20, 2005

Ode to Fauxturtle - A True Loyalist

An ode to our fake reptilian friend:

In the ever-expanding world of the internet, there are a handful of extraordinary explorers. Call them modern day Magellans of the vast ocean of circuits. They delve into the depths of the virtual deep, investigating the wires and currents like a coral reef, leaving no asterisk unturned. They are the ageless sea tortoises of the World Wide Web, nobly surveying the landscape until they find a item worthy of their interest.

Yesterday, our humble blog, Mariner Magic: Refusing To Lose, had the honor of hosting one such explorer. I'm sure you've heard her legend, but you may not have had the pleasure of seeing her cyberlikeness in an environment as intimate as a weblog. She is Fauxturtle. And her presence is among us.

Much like the life version of her chosen cyber name, Fauxturtle was poking her head around the blogosphere, when her head slipped out of her shell into the light.

As a waterbound creature, she has a natural affinity for those of the marine world. It's only appropriate her favorite baseball team is the Seattle Mariners. When she clicked "Next Blog" that fateful time, she found what she may not have even known she was looking for - a place of comfort and unparalleled optimism; a place where she could rest her tired ears, weary of the whiney wailings of baseball fans in the Bay Area, pleading for the sweet sound of baseball banter from the Northwest.

From her kind words, it's obvious to me she happened upon her heart's desire. Her technically astute prose is a testament to both the wisdom she has gained from her years of exploration, and her undying love for the Mariners. Her brilliant use of the words "mojo" and "beloved" show a clear understanding of what's important in Mariner fandom. Her employment of the compound adjective "sub-par" in description of the Oakland Athletics and San Francisco Giants demonstrates an adequate knowledge of baseball on a national scale.

When it comes down to it, Fauxturtle lives up to the billing. By gracing us with her presence yesterday, it's evident Her Turtleness is a genuine Mariner fan and a truly terrific human being (or seaborn reptile). I only hope we at Refusing To Lose can live up to her lofty review of our blog.


  1. Neddy Ballgame12:48 PM

    "..Behold the Turtle..only makes progress when he(she) sticks its neck out.." ( poster on my door aboard the USS Kitty Hawk with the VA-52 Knightriders)

    and the M's have done so with the kiddies ..nice going Bill ---last night was a bust because of the old guys --Nellie and Villone

    kind of agree wiht tht Thornton to assignment--how soon will Soriano be back ?

  2. From what I understand, Soriano could be back by the All Star break. However, history would say he won't be at full strength until Spring Training. It would be surprising (and sweet) if Raffy had his 98 mph heater back in July.

  3. Here's a Soriano update from this weekend:

    No need to rush him. Not at all/

  4. Pete that was brilliant. I hope our friend read that.

    Whiney wailings! That had me rolling.

  5. This is the funniest, and yet wonderful blog. thank you to my turtle loving fans, and thank you to the Mariners, without which we would not have come into internet contact. May this M's seasonal voyage be memorable for the Tsunami that stems from the earthquake shattering crack of homerun hitting bats.

    Laughed til I cried over my ode.


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